Kerplunker’s 2010: Year in Review
Yes, yes another “year in review” post.
2010 was a rather positive year in my life. One filled with changes and vast amounts of personal and professional growth. I started off the year with great intentions. I tried my best – I did lose some weight (as of recent, 11 pounds and counting!), reconnected with some old friends, flossed sometimes, and tried to be productive whenever possible). I didn’t always succeed with flying colors, but I do feel as though I’ve grown into a better person, and really, what more can you ask for in one year?
2010 was a year of “new”s.
In chronological order:
A new relationship: My last one ended amicably (and mutally) in February, and I started dating Tom in April. To spare the personal details, it feels like one of those rare relationships that changes you, makes your soul happier and gives life a new, shinier meaning. Tom has helped me to be a better person; someone who is calmer, happier, more confident and more zen.
A new job. This was a necessary and welcomed change. While my move was more lateral than I’d ideally wanted, it has allowed me to learn new skills, become more organized, a stronger writer and slightly better at task management. The benefits are amazing (ie. ridiculously cheap classes at a world class institution!) and I make enough to be able to pay every monthly bill I owe in full, buy food and gas for my car and still have a bit left over at the end of the day. I am now truly independent and no longer have to go to my parents for help when my bank account gets too lean. This new job will hopefully set me up for what I want to do and what I want to be, and is worth the more menial aspects of my daily responsibilities. Here I’m encouraged to grow, the people all get along, and things are not petty. It’s a warm environment, and one I’m proud to be associated with.
A new apartment. This was also a necessary and welcomed change. My old living situation was getting intolerable: I felt as though I always had to walk on eggshells. I felt comfortable only inhabiting my bedroom, and would use the kitchen only when others weren’t walking around the apartment. I never used the living room anymore and hadn’t watched the main television (the one with cable) in almost a year. My roommates were not the cleanest or most responsible, and I was growing increasingly unhappy and uncomfortable. I had wanted to move for ages, but coming up with the deposits and fees was impossible. My new job allowed me a chance to access the funds I needed. I found a room in a 3BR in East Cambridge (after interviewing at a handful of other apartments and nearly getting a couple of them) and moved in August. Now I live with two understanding, respectful, responsible and fun roommates who have quickly become friends and confidants. I haven’t had a roommate bond like this since my senior year at Emerson, and cherish my time with them.
A new car. I purchased a slightly used 2009 Hyundai Accent in September – an adorable car. My fourth car in total, it was the first that I purchased completely myself. I owed the value of my previous car, which took care of that (plus a credit for the trade in value). I worked with a great organization, More Than Wheels, and got a great deal on the perfect car. I paid the registration fees myself, and best yet, signed the car loan myself: no co-signer necessary. I have never been prouder of a purchase.
2010 was absolutely a remarkable and memorable year, and I plan to make 2011 just as much so. Instead of making specific goals as I did last year, I’ve decided to be rather vague. I want to continue to work on my time management, particularly when it comes to school, and continue to grow as a calm person and strong professional. I want to continue to stick with my commitments, and be the best friend, daughter, family member, girlfriend and employee I can be. I will go with the flow and see how this manifests itself.
Happy New Year – I hope that 2011 proves to be just as prosperous and memorable for you as I hope it is for me.
I Quit.
No, I don’t quit this blog, my job, or my relationship. I quit school. Sort of.
My quitting was much more quiet
Just after Thanksgiving, I faced an admittedly easy assignment in one of my two classes: a 5-8 page paper on the 2007 Danish cartoons crisis for my Islam class. I stared and stared at the blank page on my computer screen, and nothing was coming to me. Did I have an opinion? Not really. Had my class really prepared me to have one? Not really.
I was growing anxious – just over 36 hours left to submit this paper and it was clear that I was going nowhere. Then a nagging reoccurring thought appeared – drop the class. This idea had come to me right before my last paper was due, and then largely every Monday when I trudged across campus even as my body called for rest. But this time it was more valid.
I polled several friends – one encouraged me to buck up and do my best and aim for a B. A “withdrawn” grade would not be appealing on a transcript to a potential grad school admissions officer. Another suggested that I work for a few hours and rest and wake up again and finish. I was even promised persimmon cookies as a reward. But I knew that it was best if I quit.
So I did.
But what does quitting mean? I will have a grade of “withdrawn” on my transcripts, which might detract from my overall package once I get around to applying to grad school. But I saved myself loads of anxiety and freed up hours (perhaps days) of time to devote to other pursuits. But I quit. I quit school. I never thought I’d say that.
I am a person who has an undying quest for learning. I will never tire of seeking out information on any number of random topics. But I gave up on this opportunity. Why? Because I didn’t want to do a paper? It was more than that. I was fairly unhappy with the trajectory of the course – I was definitely learning more about Muslims in Europe, but I wasn’t connecting with the material. It felt tedious to attend class, which I have never experienced. I disliked the dynamic of the class, and was not getting out what I wanted to get out of it.
I still know that it was the right decision, and am confident that my portfolio of grades, work experience, recommendations and activities can assure me admission to most any grad program of my choice, but I still feel… odd. Especially in a time that I am working hard to honor my commitments.
But there are just times that quitting is deserved, or even necessary. And this was just one of those times.
Advice from a Bedwetter
Book cover "The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption and Pee"
I recently received some advice from an unlikely source…a bedwetter.
Well, more specifically, I read said advice.
This past May, I sped through the new memoir from comedian (and fellow Granite Stater) Sarah Silverman. She called it The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption and Pee. It was short, funny and incredibly smart (while at the same time incredibly ridiculous). It not only details her life in comedy, but also growing up as a bedwetter. She had a medical condition where her bladder was undersized and she wet her bed well into her teens.
Yet, she wrote one passage about a nugget of wisdom she received from a wise friend: Make it a treat.
Today, Sarah applies this directly to her comedy: don’t overdo a joke otherwise it will grow old quickly.
This idea of saving special things for special occasions is not revolutionary or even that new, but it fits so completely with my (not new) plans for self-revitalization. I always tell myself “I’m going to get fit and eat healthy” but these ideas never stick.
I have a love/hate relationship with sweets. I always have and always will. I love sugar in many forms, and often have time saying no or even stopping at just one. Even today I downed more than one (three) small (ish) conga bars from a lunch meeting. I always feel guilty afterward but yet that guilt never seems to stop me from helping myself to more at a later date.
I try to limit myself to a sweet or two a week, and try to substitute with healthier treats like low sugar fruit popsicles (which are actually so delicious) or even some (regularly low-fat) bite-sized macaroons. No avail. Sweets and junk food are everywhere, and I can’t always resist.
So my new motto and mantra is Make it a treat. If I can continue to remind myself of this, I’m hoping I can convince my brain to stop craving sugar so much, and when I do indulge, to stop. It won’t be an easy task, but one that is necessary. I haven’t been as active as I need to be, and it’s showing. Better choices are going to benefit me now and for the rest of my life. I need to make these changes now while I am still very able.
Make it a treat. It can be applied to anyone or anything.
What is the vice in your life that you could make a treat?
Valuable Cliched Wisdom
I have never been quite a fan of the cliched wisdom of “Everything happens for a reason” or “When one door closes, another door opens.” Yet I believe there are solid truths behind those statements. I don’t believe in fate, but I do believe that bad things in life are balanced out by good things. We just have to keep sight of these great moments as they don’t always appear as obviously as the bad ones do.
Today, I was forced to focus on a silver lining; a light spot within the dark: I was officially passed over for a promotion. While disappointed, I decided to make it a positive experience:
- I got some more interview experience under my belt, and was able to make suggestions and throw out ideas for possible improvements in office efficiency;
- My intention to take on increasing responsibilities (and the breadth of said responsibilities) is known to the right people;
- I’m more motivated than ever to find new opportunities.
Why not take this time to propel myself forward professionally, and develop my own goals and responsibilities? Why not seek out (or write) a job description that will fulfill me personally?
Many unfortunate series of events are inevitable in life, but spinning them into a situation to take advantage of is what can make or break a person. I felt many yearnings to wallow in self-pity, to be angry and to assign words of blame. Yet adapting this disappointment and loss into productive energy, motivation and growth will send me further in life than this promotion ever could have.
Perhaps I’m better off.
Falling Feet First 