Category Archive
The following is a list of all entries from the Self Improvement category.
Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda
Recently at work I have been tasked with reading applications for two different fellowships. And both rounds made me feel depressed and rueful.
Here were piles of applications of uber-qualified candidates, with resumes chock full of impressive internships, jobs, research positions, etc. etc. All from students who graduated with honors from top universities (and high honors on a senior research project!).
While reading, I started losing focus on the applicants themselves and began the comparisons. In my opinion, I paled easily. Aside from volunteer experience, a college internship at Planned Parenthood, and the month I spent as a legislative aide in the Massachusetts state house, my resume is pretty standard. I’ve held administrative jobs since college, whereas these candidates had worked in think tanks, managed campaigns, consulted, and held other jobs that counted as “real experience” in their respective fields.
I found it depressing and maddening-I wasn’t as far along as some of these students, some of whom had graduated in the same year. Why have I spent almost two and a half years keeping calendars, answering phones, and staffing events and not furthering myself in my direct field? Not to say that I don’t have some notable credentials, and I am trying to expand my experience through volunteering and classes, but compared to them? Yikes.
This inevitably led to me kicking myself, playing the “Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda” game. I should have done more internships. I should have done more work outside of Emerson, and not focused entirely on student activities. I should have done more original research. I could have pushed myself to investigate my academic interests past my assignments. I could have put more effort into my directed study, for which I did very little work, and could have produced a piece of academic writing. There is no way to tell where I would be now if I had explored more opportunities or devoted more time to academic pursuits.
No matter what, I can’t change what has already occurred. I have chosen (at least partially) my current path, and am working on continuing to broaden myself. Some people start out of college with a bang, and some people have to take a slower approach to a career. Despite the really cool things that some of my peers are doing, I am proud where I am in life.
So it doesn’t matter what I woulda, coulda, shoulda done in college and since graduation. It just matters what I’m doing now, and that I work on making calculated and positive steps forward. Dwell on the future, not the past.
I have a whole life’s worth of opportunity ahead of me, and I’m looking forward to exploring them. I’ll just make sure to be a bit more dedicated this time around.
Advice from a Bedwetter
Book cover "The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption and Pee"
I recently received some advice from an unlikely source…a bedwetter.
Well, more specifically, I read said advice.
This past May, I sped through the new memoir from comedian (and fellow Granite Stater) Sarah Silverman. She called it The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption and Pee. It was short, funny and incredibly smart (while at the same time incredibly ridiculous). It not only details her life in comedy, but also growing up as a bedwetter. She had a medical condition where her bladder was undersized and she wet her bed well into her teens.
Yet, she wrote one passage about a nugget of wisdom she received from a wise friend: Make it a treat.
Today, Sarah applies this directly to her comedy: don’t overdo a joke otherwise it will grow old quickly.
This idea of saving special things for special occasions is not revolutionary or even that new, but it fits so completely with my (not new) plans for self-revitalization. I always tell myself “I’m going to get fit and eat healthy” but these ideas never stick.
I have a love/hate relationship with sweets. I always have and always will. I love sugar in many forms, and often have time saying no or even stopping at just one. Even today I downed more than one (three) small (ish) conga bars from a lunch meeting. I always feel guilty afterward but yet that guilt never seems to stop me from helping myself to more at a later date.
I try to limit myself to a sweet or two a week, and try to substitute with healthier treats like low sugar fruit popsicles (which are actually so delicious) or even some (regularly low-fat) bite-sized macaroons. No avail. Sweets and junk food are everywhere, and I can’t always resist.
So my new motto and mantra is Make it a treat. If I can continue to remind myself of this, I’m hoping I can convince my brain to stop craving sugar so much, and when I do indulge, to stop. It won’t be an easy task, but one that is necessary. I haven’t been as active as I need to be, and it’s showing. Better choices are going to benefit me now and for the rest of my life. I need to make these changes now while I am still very able.
Make it a treat. It can be applied to anyone or anything.
What is the vice in your life that you could make a treat?
Falling Feet First 