I’m an Adult. Seriously.
My name is Heather Marie. I’m 24. And I’m an adult.
I guess I don’t really need to join a support group in reaction to my status in life, but becoming an adult has been a surprising series of events.
I legally became an adult six years ago, but it wasn’t until recently that I really felt like I had fully become one. Adulthood transcends the ideas I had when I was a kid: staying up late, making your own choices, dating, seeing R-rated movies, imbibing, and taking more responsibility.
These people love being adults!
Yet, the paved journey to adulthood has been somewhat surprising:
1. I go to sleep early.
I used to make fun of my sister when she was a recent college grad for retiring very early every night. Without homework to do, she had so much free time! Why waste it?
Oh how little I knew. Once I started working and commuting, I completely understood. Working full time is exhausting. Your whole self goes into what you do each day (well, hopefully so!) and once you get home, there’s dinner to make, errands to run, and a multitude of other things to focus on. By the end of the day, I sincerely miss my pajamas.
I have a hard time staying out late on Friday nights now (unless I’ve napped for a bit after work) because of how tired I get, and sometimes find myself leaving my plans early to go to bed. Sometimes even before the last train.
Lately, with taking classes, plus a lead organizing role with Oxfam America Action Corps, I can’t ever seem to get to bed before midnight, which will not be a trend I can keep up. I miss being in bed at 10 and not feeling ashamed!
2. Paying debt off is an accomplishment (and fun!)
Until very recently, my money management skills left a great deal to be desired. I am now uber-obsessed with my available bank account balances, how my money moves, and paying my bills. I paid off my credit card debt a few months ago (it took four years, but it’s done!), and now I’m focused on shrinking the size of my auto and school loans and growing my savings. I’m even hoping to open a Roth IRA in the next year or so.
I can control my spending, pay all my bills in full and on time, not overdraw my account. Paying off debt – well, it’s just a wonderful thing.
3. I like wine.
I used to be a mild consumer of wine. I would nurse a glass for hours until it became undrinkable. I tried and tried to like it; took advice on reds and whites and pairings from my knowledgeable uncles and friends. I just couldn’t get behind it. I couldn’t discern the tastes of oak and fruit that connoisseurs could.
And then, something changed. I now like, nay, love wine. I’m interested in learning more, trying as many as possible, and continuing to grow my palate. Pass the Argentinian Malbec, please!
4. Time flies by.
Another surprising (but yet not surprising) aspect is that time flies by. Growing up, all the major milestones seemed ages away: driving, voting, drinking. Now these are all so commonplace that I sometimes take them for granted. Once I hit 25 and gain the ability to rent a car, what comes next? 30 seems so far away, but it’s realistically right around the corner. While I’m not fearing middle age yet, I realize how quickly it could come. I just have to make sure that I enjoy life as much as I can, because each and every day is precious.
On the other hand, adulthood has also not been surprising: taxes, sacrificing want for need, and financial independence (I just bought a car – completely on my own!). But I’m enjoying the journey.
And besides, who said adults can’t be silly?
Who said that adults have to be serious all the time? Life is better when you're silly.
I’ve got Wedding Fever, and the only cure is more… Weddings?
Chapel bells are ringing, because wedding season is in swing. And everyone and their mother (literally) is getting married.
Scrolling through facebook, I am seeing more and more photos of friends (or acquaintances) in white dresses, matched with men in tuxes or suits.
In August, I only attended one wedding (which happened to be my mother’s, Mazel Tov, Ma!), but I knew about three other couples who also wed just that month.
This past weekend I attended one on the Cape, and just sent back a reply to an invitation for the first week of October. Plus there is one on the first of the new year for my best friend from middle school, and then in May for two college friends, and then TWO next Labor Day weekend (including one I’m bridesmaid-ing for).
I guess wedding season is called wedding season for a reason: it’s crammed full of weddings. But I am finally reaching that age where I actually know people who are committing their love to another. And are doing so frequently. Before this, I had just a (small) handful of married friends, and of those, most were Emerson alumni friends from older classes. Now, girls and boys I’ve known since my days in elementary are wearing special rings and unpacking numerous blenders and place settings.
Now that more of my peers are pairing up, I am starting to feel pressure. It’s not anxiety about physically getting married, as I’ve known for years that I have academic and career goals and will get hitched closer to 30 than 20 (you can relax now, Tom). It’s more that I’m realizing that I’m growing up and feeling like I’m being left behind by remaining single. But are these married couples really achieving something that’s ahead of me?
This is what I want my wedding to look like, only with fewer birds and feathers in my hair.
I know that I’m an independent woman, driven by my personal goals and consistent need at self improvement. I know that I can accomplish great things by myself. But I also know that being in a good relationship is almost as fulfilling as other personal accomplishments. It fills (not necessarily completes) another side of your being, and it is just an indescribable feeling. So these people who are married… are they more whole than I? Are they more fulfilled? Because of this fulfillment, will they then be able to accomplish more personally?
Trust me, I am in no rush to be married (seriously, Tom, not for years). I really do have personal benchmarks to fulfill before I can even entertain a proposal. But still, at the end of the day, when it’s just me in my head, after my reading for classes is done, I do wonder…
Falling Feet First 